i don't like sucking hair
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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