just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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