im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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