It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
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