it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
