and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
