I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
