there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
