I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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