"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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