I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
