Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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