i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
