id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
