He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
