Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
