He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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