I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
