I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
