Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
