I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
