We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
