I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
