I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
