Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
