Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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