one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
