just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
