I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
