is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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