my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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