just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
