if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i think i just lost a toe
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
