If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
