I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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