is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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