Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
