OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
