discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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