I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I understand Curling. That high.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
