dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
