yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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