omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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