you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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