You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
