so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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