I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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