check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
