her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
