can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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