Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
