you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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