Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
