Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
