thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
