I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
