Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize