Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
