Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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