$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
