it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
