the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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