Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
