So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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