Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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