1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
