the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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