it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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